Fave Songs

These 3 songs basically kept me going during rough times in high school:
1. Promise- Kapano Green (http://sherryberry224.blogspot.com/2008/10/promise.html)

2. It Is Well with My Soul- Horatio G. Spafford and Phillip P. Bliss:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
"It is well, it is well with my soul."

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed his own blood for my soul.

My sin, o, the joy of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Man, after reading the lyrics again, I REALLY REALLY love this song!

3. Everlasting God- New Life Worship:

One thing I know that I have found
Through all the troubles that surround
You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail

One thing I know that I believe
Through every blessing I receive
You are the only One that stays, You always stay

Chorus:
You never change, You're still the same
You are the Everlasting God
You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed
Everlasting God

I was reminded of this song after reading an entry on Emeth's blog:
"the steadfast love of the Lord never seizes. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness." =) crazy how many references there are to God's steadfast love and faithfulness through out the Bible. I used to not really like the name Emeth (sorry Hans and Irene =P), but now that I know what it means, his name will forever remind me of God's faithfulness. Thaaaaanks!!!

Walking in My Rain Boots

I went for a prayer walk out in the rain this afternoon, under my umbrella, in my blue poki-dotted rain boots. I had a lot of fun! It drizzled for a few minutes, poured the next. I love my rain boots. my sister gave em to me. :) I think I've written about this before... o well. I had a lot in my mind, mostly about frienships. but I gotta say, I had a hard time praying. I've been realizing more and more of my inability to pray with words. like, not only does it not sound fluent or elegant like some other people, but its just sometimes... so bleh. "Spiritual" or "Christianly" words just don't work with me any more. They ain't comin to me lately like they used to, you know?... maybe that's a good thing. That's why I really want to learn how to pray with the Words from the Bible. One of my commitments for lent is to memorize at least 2 verses a week. It's nothing big like memorizing one verse a day, but for me it's quite significant. Also, the prayer we did during women's mentorship was REALLY awesome! I don't think I've ever prayed through a passage before. I want to do that more, too.

As I was walking around, many songs popped into my head: Message of the Cross, Amazing Grace, It is Well with My Soul, and other ones I can't remember right now. I took about 10 minutes standing on the second floor of BSB (after you go up the stairs) to stop singing, stop praying, stop walking, and to just pause and listen for God. well, I didn't hear anything from Him. I don't know what He wanted me to get out of this prayer walk. but maybe next time, eh?

Today: Saw and gave a hug to Luci and Janaan. Studied Spanish with Jessica Price. Had dinner with Beth, Jeka, and Jai. Had Women's mentorship with Life Group women. Briefly chatted with Susan on AIM.

God provides.

Help!

I realized the past week I've been feeling a little weary, uneasy because I can't keep track of all the people God has placed in my life and those that He's been calling me to reach out to. there are those relationships I started in the beginning of the school year that I want to maintain, but it's hard because I'm spending a lot of time deepening those relationships within my Life Group (especially during 2nd semester). And on top of that there are those that I've just recently met that I want to share the Gospel with through building that relationship with them.

These are all the names that have been running through my mind even in just these past 3 days:
Kristine
Mike (from Nigeria)
Luci and Janaan
Amber and Grace
Dawn
Rim Pierre
Amanda G. (lab partner)
Aran (firsbee teammate)
David Dolvio and Tito
Susan Zhou
Hannah and Tia (and all the Life Group Girls)
even the Grad Life Group women (Joanna, Sandy, Danielle, and Lisa)
Evanston Freshmen
Eric Kao, Hus, Kevin
Peter and Nate
Elizabeth, Bethanie, Jeka, Jai, Gloria, Rebeccah, Sophia
my roommate Marty
Sharon Hong, Grace Yu, Juhae
Iris and Jeni
Ultimate Frisbee teammates
Sarah Kim (from ACW)
Jessica (from Bulls game) and Carline (from Spanish)

What I'm trying to say is that I need help. I feel like for a lot of the new people coming out to Life Group or visiting or wanting to visit that I'm the only connection they have. like for Susan, Luci, Janaan, Kristine, Amber, Grace, Aran, and Gisel. I have no idea how how yall can help. but maybe the next time they come out, get their number, make a harder effort to talk to them and get to know them, and help me text/call them up on Tuesday nights for LG, Friday nights for ACCESS, and Sunday celebrations. I know that they know me better, so I should be the one calling them up, and believe me, I have. But it does get a little discouraging when they keep saying "I can't" or "maybe next time." I know I need to keep trying to build that relationship, keep praying for them, and keep persisting to invite them out. I'm not feeling overwhelmed... yet. and maybe I'm just thinking about people too much. But I've had moments where I have this huge list of people in my mind and have no idea who to call or how to plan my days. I guess I should just take one day at a time, do whatever I can each day.

Reminder: it ain't about what I do either, It's ultimately God who calls His children to Him and He who initiates the relationship. He is in control!

Challenge of faith: to pray for every encounter /meeting I have with the names of people I've mentioned

God spoke to me this morning. He said, "Love others, just as I have loved you."
Love others sacrificially, with my time, money, energy.

Prayer Request: For strength and courage to continue to reach out and demonstrating a love that can only come from Christ.

My Re-Birthday

Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! I had a blessed day. ^__^

Something that dawned on me at prayer meeting this morning was that... I wanted to celebrate not so much my BIRTHday, but my RE-birthday. I don't know what day it was exactly when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, but how much more to celebrate on the day I found Truth and Purpose in my life. Therefore, I wanted this day to be a celebration not for my birthday, but my Re-birthday. A reminder of the day God delivered me out of darkness and into light. out of deserving punishment of my sins and into righteousness through faith in Christ. I would say that THAT day is more important and the better reason to celebrate than the day I was born.

I was so blessed to be able to share this day with my community of brothers and sister in Life Group, praising God together and worshipping Him for who He is and what He has done for us. This was the best way I could've wished for to spend the night. I pray that every Feb. 24, for the rest of my life here on earth, I would remember the Cross and Praise God for my Re-birthday.

Monday Morning 2/23/09

These two songs/lyrics came to me as I was praying this morning:

"All of life comes down to just one thing, that's to know You, O Jesus, and make you known."

biblical? I think so? and...

"Send revival, start with me."

humbling.

The Best is Yet to Come

You've shown Your love in a mysterious way
on a very random, seemingly-unspecial day
in a way I still don't fully understand
and definitely not according to what I had planned

I'm at lost for words to explain what's inside me for real
because I don't know how I am to feel
cuz even when I've revealed my sin to someone
does that mean the fight is done? Have I won?

In this instance, yes.
the battle in my mind, to share or not to share, yet...
the fight is not done done.
cuz only for this One instance, this One battle was won.

There will be many more Mind battles to come still,
especially when I'm alone, in the dark, unseen to others, with some time to kill
That's when those thoughts crawl in and grab hold of my heel.
Not even so.
cuz even when I'm around others, they don't know what's going on inside my head.
God, I hope they never will cuz If they do, I'd be dead
from my own shame, and drowning in my guilt while laying in my bed.

But you know what,
I'm glad I've shared cuz this burden is SO much lighter
Just as You've said, Confess your sins to one another and Pray for one another
So what?! SO THAT YOU MAY BE HEALED!!!

What more can I say now, but praise be to God!
for His light overcomes darkness
He draws near to us in our times of brokenness.
He is our hope, in our desparity
He is our rock, in our uncertainty.
We can never stray too far out of His sight.
AWAY from here, Satan! you have no place in the light!

Thank You, Lord, for this random, seemingly-unspecial, blessed, tearful, and joyous night. Amen.

Prayer Walk

Minnie and I went on a prayer walk today for our LCG even though it was windy and cold outside. I must have walked around campus at least 3 times. haha. The cool part was we ran into a lot of our Life Group members: Inhae, Hyung Seo, Peter, and Jay. We prayed for each person that we saw, plus Hannah and Jennifer, for ACW, for an awakening for this campus, breaking down of divisions, for broomball and ppl we know who are coming by name, learning to be a living sacrifice in our daily decisions, our LCG, for the Grad Life Group, HMCC leaders, school's admins for wisdom and direction, for us to dream bigger, to see more of God's vision for this campus and his ppl, for our hearts to break when we see the homeless or just the brokeness of this world and not become numb to them, .... i know there was more, but I can't remember =P Minnie, help!

One thing I realized during the prayer walk was that I kept looking down at the ground when I walked. it wasn't just bc it was cold. but I think I walk looking down most of the time. I was reminded many times to look up, look around campus, look at the people you're walking past. God was telling me, "LOOK UP! these are all people that NEED ME!" I was reminded to pray bigger prayers, knowing and trusting in God's mightiness and faithfulness. reminded through Exodus that God WANTS to dwell amongst His people. He desires to be intimate with us. and He accomplishes that through the Holy Spirit in the NT. Thank you, Lord.

Lord, You desire to break down racial/class/gender barriers. You are mighty to save. Amen.

Downtown to Yorktown

I missed the 8:30 train to go home this morning. dang they leave on time. I ran into the station at exactly 8:29:57. it JUST turned 8:30 when I got to the gate when the train was departing. I stood by the train, as passengers inside stared at me, and its engine started. I was literally talking to the train and asking God to have mercy on me for being late 30 SECONDS (cuz the next train would be in 2 hrs). However, the train began to leave. I just stood there, panting from running, and my head down. BUT THEN, the train came to a HALT. i thought it was going to open its doors to let me in..... but nope. the wheels started to role again and it left for good this time. This was the consequence I had to pay for waking up late. but THANK GOD that He isn't like the train or the conductor in that He is ABUNDANT in His mercy and His Grace is sufficient. Amen!

I decided to go to Corner Bakery inside Union Station for breakfast and to read Exodus (I've been going through Exodus with my friend Minhee). I ordered "Honey Banana Oatmeal." It had dried cranberries, skim milk, and granola in it as well. It was delicious! but it better be delicious since it cost $4.45 for oatmeal (O.o). but in any case, I also received a free bread thingy cuz I had to wait 10 minutes. so the oatmeal was fresh, too! free food = extra blessing =)

My dad picked me up from the Downtown Downers Grove station and brought me to Yorktown, where he works. I told him last night that I went home that I wanted to go to work with him. So right now, I'm sitting inside the food court of Yorktown Mall, next to the garbage bin, watching my Dad work. It's actually kinda fun, watching him in a suite and tie, wearing his "old man" glasses, working the cashier, smiling and greeting the customers, watching the steady stream of customers to his store, seeing the many drinks of the people around me with a "Sarku Japan" labeling. I'm proud of him. For 20+ yrs he's been working in the foods department, he's been in the back, cooking, never actually seeing the people he was serving. Not receiving their "thank you's" and "this is delicious" comments. never really able to practice his English. up until now. I feel like he's always been gifted in interacting and relating to people. he's just never really had the chance to do that in America. He's definitely a people person. He's one of those guys that brings life to the party with his outgoingness and jokes. especially in Taiwan. He had a TON of friends. He lost a lot of that part of himself living in America all these years. So, it's good to see him able to interact with people, use his English, smile at customers. He looks good! I'm happy.

My Awesome, Busy, and Blessed Day!

7am- I woke up to do some unfinished hwk
8:30-9:45am- met up with P.Jimmy for coffee hour
10-10:30am- went to Dominick's to buy chocolate cake (for a NK Peace bake sale) and Arizona Iced tea (for my friend)
11-11:30am- had a conference with my teacher over a really crappy paper I wrote
11:30-12:15 I made a care package of arizona iced tea, bakery from Chinatown, and peach gummies for my friend who is going through a VERY tough week of midterms. AND i wrote a poem for her in the card! =)
12:30-1:45pm- went to my South Asian Literature Studies class
1:45-2:30pm- studied for my Spanish Exam at 3pm
3-4pm- took my Spanish chapter exam
4-5:15pm- went to my "Social Problems" class
5:30-6pm- David Dolvio treated me to "Mango something Toppler" at Jamba Juice. We went with Tito and Kristine.
6-6:30pm- dropped off the care package to my friend
6:30-7pm- went to McDonald's in Union Station to redeem a free Big Mac from a coupon I received from the Bulls game I went to this past tuesday. but as I stood in front of McD's I realized I don't need this free Big Mac, so why not give it to someone who does. I walked around Union station to look for a person asking for money to give the coupon to. The woman was standing on Jackson right before crossing the bridge.
7:05pm- As I was waiting for the 60 bus on Clinton, I ran into Carthic, who is a grad student that came out to Life group a few times. We got into a nice conversation and he said he'll try to make it out to Service this Sunday!
7:15pm- went to my school's cafeteria for dinner: roast beef sandwich
7:30-8:30pm- met up with Rinnie (sp?), Katharine, and Angela to decide shirt designs for All Campus Worship. Angela is gifted in Photo Shop.
9-10pm- watched America's Best Dance Crew in Cordova's room.
10:30-12:30am- had an awesome conversation with Jessica Hwang about many topics, but mostly about what I've been learning at HMCC.
12:30-now (2:018am)- AIM and facebook and blogging! XP
next... shower and homework...
welcome to the life of a college student! (O.O)

Bulls Win!

I went to a Bulls game today with my relatives and met up with the Grad. Life Group for the last quarter of the game. BULLS BEAT PISTONS (sorry Sandy and Joanna)!!!! 107 to 105. the bulls were still down 10pts. with 5min. But somehow, they came back! and with 16sec. left, Gordan scored a 3 pointer (plus a foul!) taking the Bulls to the lead (with Rose assist). It was SOOOO exciting! I was going crazy!!

ANNNNDDD.... WE SAW MICHAEL JORDAN AND SCOTTIE PIPPEN!!!!! They were here for the Johnny "Red" Kerr dedication which occurred at half time. It was quite exciting! And, Obama also appeared on a video congratulating Kerr on his achievements.

Is Chop Suey "Real" Chinese Food?

I went to the Hull House Rethinking Soup presentation today. They served Won Ton Soup. The speaker was Monica Eng, who is the writer of the foods section in the Chicago Tribune. She spoke about the history of Chinese food in Chicago. I found the presentation fascinating because I always wondered how Chop Suey and other "Chinese foods for Caucasians" came to be. I learned that the various types of Chinese food is intricately linked with our political and economical history. For instance, the Chinese Exclusion and the various waves of different Asian immigrants had a huge effect on the types of Chinese food being served, from the city out to the suburbs. She also shared about some of the other projects she's working on, just looking into the conditions of the CPS lunch program and possible ways to improve it. As she was talking and sharing her stories, ideas, places she's eaten, and answering questions, it made me really want to pursue a career that somehow deals with food and nutrition and education. Oh, and I went to my honors class late purposely so I could hear her presentation. My fascination with food and Asian American history kept me there, even though I knew I had an in class essay that I would miss. I felt like this was something important. I don't know how to describe it, but I just felt like I really had to be there because I knew it would impact me in some way. But yeah, a career that combines food, nutrition, education, and various cultures really interests me. I'm gunna look into that. =)

I wanna say something

... but i don't know what to say. I feel like I have a lot of things on my mind lately. but I can't seem to talk about them. You kno sometimes when a bunch of things go on in your mind, they stay there for a few seconds, and then some other thought buds in. and a few seconds later, the first thought comes back. Here are thing that keep coming in and out of my thoughts: my sister, my mom, my major, Kevin, HMCC membership, home cooked meal, Owls, Chem Exam tomorrow, Eric, my dad, Sakura Terryaki Chicken, summer missions, how much I miss Taiwan, Life Group people, Remedy, Exodus, chocolate, meeting up with P. Jimmy, my legs are sore, how do I want to impact others, cooking, blogging, facebooking, God, people I've been trying to reach out to.... I think those are the main things as of now.

I love Mommy!

I saw my mom through Skype today for the first time in 5 months. I was so happy I cried. Just a little bit. =) I really miss my sister and mom. Thank you Lord for creating Skype for me to see them on web cam.

You know what my mom's first reaction were after seeing me for the first time in 5 months?
"Do something with medical so you can get a good job in this economy" and "Did you get chubbier? because you look chubbier. hahaha." -_- I love you, too, Ma.

Today was a good day. I did my QT first thing in the morning (hope I can keep it up). during it, I met a guy name Mike that came and sat by me. He was pretty cool. He asked me what I was doing. and I told him I was praying for various countries and reading the Bible. he gave that "hmm.. interesting" look. and I told him reading the Bible IS interesting and even exciting. Then, I went to the gym with Minhee from 10-11am. I ate breakfast with E.Chung, Alyson, Matt, and David Dolvio. I showered, got my paperwork done for America Reads, and went to class. After class, I went to TBH for discipleship. Afterwards, Yoon Sun cooked a delicious Korean meal for us. came back to CMW. Juhae texted me bout ACW meeting. so i went to that. chatted with Rinee, Katharine, Mina, Juhae, and Sharon a little. went back to my dorm, talked on Skype again with my sister and mom! chatted on AIM with Minnie and ooyoo. and now blogging. Thanks for a blessed day, Lord!