Monday, December 29, 2008

Retreat Season

Like many people have been doing during break, I will be off on a retreat tomorrow (Tues) until Friday. Followed by a ski trip with my cousins, Marco and Leo, and their friends. It's gunna be a busy week, but so much fun! weird. it doesnt feel like I'm going on a retreat tomorrow. I'm so ill prepared. and a spot on my right leg keeps twitching right now. haha. It feels funny. anyway, I'm gunna be leading a small group of high school girls. and... ahh... the twitching stopped. =) dang it. nope. its back. it feels like my heart beat! wait no. that would be bad cuz it keeps going and stopping and beats double-time sometimes. anyway, I'm excited for the retreat, and the ski trip!

funny. once I said I wanted to quit blogging, it's been easier to type things out. hm... peace out.

Daydreaming of Street Evangelism

I was daydreaming again today while I was typing up the prayer requests for Australia. I thought back to the day my family went to "The Taste of Chicago" this past summer. At the last intersection of the street right across the entrance to The Taste, a young man was speaking about the second coming of Christ through a speaker phone. I don't remember if he spoke about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, him being the savior, his resurrection, or anything like that. We walked past him like everyone else. but I remember thinking, man, I definitely don't have the courage to do something like that.

Then, I started picturing myself in that guy's shoes. What words would I use? I think I started with (in my daydream) something along the lines of, "What is your purpose in life? What is the meaning of life?" iunno. I think I also shared my own testimony. of how Christ saved me from the penalty of sin and how he wants to save you, too. As I was daydreaming, I felt like I was observing as a third person. you know when you dream sometimes, you're just observing and sometimes you see yourself, but you're not in your body? anyways, that's how I am in a lot of my dreams, and this time was no different. as crowds of people are walking by, looking at me strangely, I couldn't imagine that person was me. it looked like me. I still dint see myself having the courage to do such a thing..... yet. I hope one day, I'll have so much fervor and zeal for the Gospel that I'll be able to street evangelize if God calls me to. but the truth is, I have such little faith. I still care more about my own image, my own respectability than sharing the Gospel often times. there's only been glimpse in my life that I have out myself out there for the Holy Spirit to really use me. My fear, my doubt have gotten in the way many more times. like this past spring break, when I knew I'd see my grandpa for the last time. My fear got in the way of sharing the Good News of Jesus with him. and he past away a few months afterwards. Not knowing Jesus. I still have a hard time forgiving myself for that. even though I know all things happen under His sovereignty. yet, I still trust God, and pray that He will still use me, despite my failure, my lack of faith, my lack of trust in Him. the mind and body is so weak. only God can transform the desires of my heart. praying for radical transformation.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Daydream for a Passion

I watched an interview with the director of 'Cape 7' (a famous Taiwanese movie) this morning at 4am. I hadn't gone to bed yet. But as he was describing his passion for directing, how he was willing to put all of himself into it, I couldn't help but to think about what my passion is. I desire a career that I can be passionate about, just like him. Then, I think about pre-med. and whenever people asks me if I'm going into pre-med, I say im considering it. or jus maybe. as if pre-med is my "back-up." not something I'm pursuing with my whole heart. granted I'm only a freshmen and I don't have to know what I want to do with the rest of my life. But I don't like giving that half-assed answer. It bugs me. I want to be able to give a definate 'yes' or 'no.' The problem is I don't know what my passions are. but for one thing, I know I want to live passionately for Christ and glorification of God in every aspect of my life. That's not true in my life, yet. But I hope oneday I'll be closer. I'm reading this book by John Piper called Dont Waste Your Life and I'm hoping it will shed some light to how I am to live for the glory of God. I'm only on chapter 3, but I'm like liking it so far.

Anyway, I was daydreaming today about how I went on a journey around the world to find my passion. I traveled around doing odd jobs, from being a sailor, to fisherwoman, and then somehow becoming a chef training in a hactic kitchen in France. I went across Europe, but somehow (probably with the fishing boat) ended up in an impoverish area in Africa. I found myself in the middle of an attack. bombs exploding everywhere and bullets shooting at all directions. All of a sudden a surgeon ordered me to stich up a man's wound. He told me it was just like sewing clothes. and that's what I did the entire time. went around stiching people's wounds up. I remember after that, I went back to America, no Europe somewhere and applied to medical school, telling my story on the application. It would be awesome if it was real. I don't know. maybe that's the experience I'm gunna need to make me passionate about going pre-med. Or help me know that I definately don't. I think it'd be so cool if I do have an experience/encounter like that to help me know what I really want to do in life. I want to know life outside of Downers Grove, Chicago-land area, or even Taiwan. There's so much out there. I want to experience more in life. Haha. I want to take a bike trip around Taiwan on my own (my cousin did that). I want to travel from Europe all the down to South Africa, on my own. That'd be amazing. no, it'd be scary. I'm gunna plan a trip to Taiwan now. =)

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Frustrating

I don't like blogging. It takes me so many friggin' hours to wrote a few lines. It's frustrating when I have things in my mind to share. but they come and go so fast sometimes that I can't describe them. and even if it's something important, I can't come up with the words fast enough! I wanna be more articulate, I wanna know more vocabulary, I wanna spell words right. I wanna give up... for now. or for a while. goodnight.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dedicated to Hyun Seo Yang

Dec. 22, 2008

I spent 5 out of the last 7 days last week with Hyun Seo, and man… they are probably one of the most awesome, hilarious, and happiest days in my life (definitely will be one of the my highlights of my college life). It all began Monday…

I picked up Joanna from Starbucks and ate breakfast with her at ‘Maxwell’s Hashbrowns’. We shared a “Taylor Street omelet” with sweet potato hashbrowns and toast. You know, I was really happy to be able to drive Joanna around for once cuz she’s always the one driving us everywhere.

Then, I Picked up Hyun Seo from SSB at 12:38pm (ish). Omg, when she saw me, she ran toward me from half a block away and literally jumped into my arms. I was so scared that she was gunna perform “the show” when she was running!! I tried to tell her to slow down, but her excitement had already taken her onto full speed. She eventually did perform “the show.” I dropped her off at SRH for her to pick some things up., but when she was coming back to my car, she was running again, and she performed a BIIIIG “show.”

The first thing we did when we got to Downers Grove was visit my high school. We went into the school while they were still having class, and a former badminton teammate saw us and took me to see my badminton coach (while he was teaching a class!). He came out of his class room and was delighted by the visit. He a cool dude. =) Our school also had our Fall Art Display, where we walked around and saw my former art teacher.

Let’s see, what else…. We rented/watched ‘Notting Hill’ and ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith.’ I’ve seen both before, but they were only 2 for $1 at Family Video! It was probably my 8th time seeing ‘Notting Hill’ (It’s one of my favorite Chick Flicks). I really enjoyed the second movie too (again). I think Hyun Seo did, too. =/

Tuesday morning, she woke up speaking Korean to me really fast. I still hvae no idea what she said, and apparently she doesn't either. Around noon, we also went sledding!!!.... in 15 degrees F, but we bundled up (A LOT!) so it wasn’t that cold. We went up to the hill down the street in Obrien Park. We had a BLAST!! Haha. We were gunna go up to the North Suburbs to meet up with Inhae, Minhee, and Tia to hang out. But there was a snow storm! Traffic was terrible so we decided not to go (the AAIV Christmas Party was postponed, too). So, Tuesday night, my dad, my dad’s roommate’s girlfriend, Jessica, and I cut Hyun Seo’s hair!! It was really funny, when she asked me to cur her hair I first refused to. She was like “Sherry, I trust you!” but I was like “No! I don’t trust myself!” See, I’ve never cut someone’s hair before, like full out. I’ve trimmed my mom’s hair, cut my bangs a lil. But I’ve only seen my mom cut hair since she used to always cut my sister’s and my hair every time. I just got my first hair cut in a salon this past labor day weekend in Houston!

Anyway, Wednesday morning, we drove into the city and had breakfast with Joanna at ‘Sweet Maple.’ It was Excellent!! The egg scramble was delicious! I’m gunna try to make it myself at home. I even bought ricotta cheese (just like our order)!! Afterwards, I dropped Joanna off at work, then dropped Hyun Seo off at Union Station, where she was “supposed” to meet her English teacher to go to the Museum. But her teacher never showed up =( I had already driven home when she called me later.

On Saturday, I drove into the city to pick up Hyun Seo, Inhae, and Min Hee from Union Station cuz they came to watch me perform at ARRIVAL. The ride home was hilarious as ever can be. Hyun Seo showed us all the Christmas cards she drew for everyone. They were for sure the best Christmas Cards… ever! Inhae’s 12 packs, I mean... purple coat, Min Hee’s grandma outfit, Grace “cut something”, Sandy driving, P. Jimmy’s “mustard.” Oh man, good times, good times. We cooked fried rice together, and talked and laughed some more. Hyun Seo was being ridiculously hilarious. We laughed so hard my stomach and cheeks were hurting SO bad. “Oh daang” (with bounce!). ROFL!!! omg, it was also hilarious when (Inhae, you know what I'm thinkin) Hyun Seo woke wouldn't wake up, but when I whispered to her that my Dad cooked dinner, she shot right up and went to sit at the dining table without saying a word. LOL!!!

Saturday night, Jeni Chang also slept over. Min Hee, Hyun Seo, and Inhae almost froze to death because I didn't know my dad closed off the heating vents in the room cuz it used to get TOO hot. Plus, it was freezing that night outside, literally!

Let's see, what else... Running around in the freezing cold Sunday was fun, too. We drove up to Evanston for church, and dropped Min Hee off at her dad's church in Glenview. It was SOOOOO cold!! After church we went to Old Orchard to "find boots"... I ended up buying two shirts from Gap! =D A bunch of us ate at the food court. We saw Santa (again)!! haha. And, of course, Hyun Seo was being too funny. I almost died laughing at everything she was doing. That was a really awesome time.

Hyun Seo’s excitement over… everything seems like that of a little child’s discovering a new toy, her eyes widen and light up, and puts on a huge smile with her mouth open. And does a lil dance… or big dance. I’m sure those of you that know her knows what I’m talking about. But even though she does some, no, A LOT of crazy things that may seem “childish,” I still see her as an unni, an older sister. She has so much heart, she’s fearless- loves to explore and try new things (like travel around NY with a stranger and go to Florida on her own). And when she was sharing her insight with us during our “girl talk” at the sleepover, I had so much respect for her. I don’t know what it is about her that she can act seemingly childish, yet, be mature. Maybe not “childish,” but innocent, yet, insightful. Haha, iunno how to explain it.
All I can say is Hyun Seo, you're awesome. Thanks for being you. I love you and I'm gunna miss you sooooo much!!!!! I’m gunna start tearing up if I think about you leaving at the end of May, so I’m gunna try to not think about it for now. …. too late T.T

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I Almost Left for Mexico Today

Leo: I'm going to Mexico tomorrow, you wanna come?
Me: ... you serious?

This happened when my dad, aunt, and cousin Leo came to help me move out for winter break on Friday afternoon. By 3pm, the traffic was already backed up. Leo had actually asked me during Thanksgiving break, but I didn't think much about it. So, when he asked me again, I was like...um...no. But the funny thing was that my aunt and my dad kept urging me to go.

Dad: It will be a good experience.
Me: But Dad, I'm gunna be spending money going to 3 retreats, which will cost at least $200, I want to go on the Spring Break Missions trip, which will cost $400, AND I'm going back to Taiwan in May, and summer school and TAF!!
Dad: Don't worry about the cost. Money isn't the issue. It's an experience of a lifetime.
Me: How can I add another $500 trip to Mexico. That's way too much!
Dad: How about this, I'll pay for $200, your aunt will help you with $100, and you pay another $200.
Me: But I don't have any income! The money I spend is STILL YOURS!
Dad: It's not about the money, Sherry. It's the experience.

Interesting... I feel like I'm more concern about our family's financial situation than my dad is a lot of times. Or perhaps he just doesn't show it.

It's the experience. It seems like that's been my parents model for raising my sister and I. All the piano lessons, violin lessons, sports camps, TAF, throwing us onto airplanes by ourselves at 6yrs old, sending us to America to live with Uncle David. It's all for us to "gain experience." and man, am I thankful for that. I wouldn't be the versatile person that I am without those experiences.

But Mexico?? So sudden? I thought I was the one who would do random, sudden things, like go to Mexico for 2 weeks the day after school ended. But my dad was all for it, too. Maybe that's where I get my randomness from.

In the end, I decided not to go. I called Leo later that night to tell him. The reasons?... money, previous engagements, and rest. If I had gone, I would have came back the day before leaving to be a small group leader at Roger's Church's retreat, then straight to CCMC's retreat. If I am to serve as a small group leader, I want to give my full attention and energy. It would be irresponsible of me to go to Mexico, and come back all tired and unable to serve.

Yes, I probably passed up an experience of a life time... a three day road trip down to Mexico, traveling with a local, Juan, who's Leo's friend, and helping them build a church, even possible missions, and flying back home.

man... I still kinda wish I had gone.

Friday, December 12, 2008

O.O

I REALLY need to start dancing again!! =P
I suck. like no joke.... maybe ill join EVO just for fun. and I hear the people are pretty cool ;)
and i'm gunna start breakdancing again this winter... thats my goal... in our new basement!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

I Am Second

http://iamsecond.com/

Hear the testimonies of how Christ has changed the lives of some of today's celeberties. Hope this will get some people to ask questions and seek answers in Jesus Christ. If anyone wants to talk about who this Jesus really is or how he can transform your life, I would be delighted to talk with you! Just message me or give me a call ANYTIME =)

I will (very soon!) share my own testimony on this blog entry about how Christ entered and transformed my life and why 'I Am Second.' but in the meantime, enjoy this site!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Living

...on 3 hours of sleep each night (more like morning). I wonder how long it will last until I totally crash. Hopefully long enough until finals are over... which means 7 more days!!! JIAH YO!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

NK Peace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms4NIB6xroc

Not...
If I stop to help this person, what would happen to me?

But rather...
If I do not stop to help this person, what would happent to him?