Retreat Season

Like many people have been doing during break, I will be off on a retreat tomorrow (Tues) until Friday. Followed by a ski trip with my cousins, Marco and Leo, and their friends. It's gunna be a busy week, but so much fun! weird. it doesnt feel like I'm going on a retreat tomorrow. I'm so ill prepared. and a spot on my right leg keeps twitching right now. haha. It feels funny. anyway, I'm gunna be leading a small group of high school girls. and... ahh... the twitching stopped. =) dang it. nope. its back. it feels like my heart beat! wait no. that would be bad cuz it keeps going and stopping and beats double-time sometimes. anyway, I'm excited for the retreat, and the ski trip!

funny. once I said I wanted to quit blogging, it's been easier to type things out. hm... peace out.

Daydreaming of Street Evangelism

I was daydreaming again today while I was typing up the prayer requests for Australia. I thought back to the day my family went to "The Taste of Chicago" this past summer. At the last intersection of the street right across the entrance to The Taste, a young man was speaking about the second coming of Christ through a speaker phone. I don't remember if he spoke about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, him being the savior, his resurrection, or anything like that. We walked past him like everyone else. but I remember thinking, man, I definitely don't have the courage to do something like that.

Then, I started picturing myself in that guy's shoes. What words would I use? I think I started with (in my daydream) something along the lines of, "What is your purpose in life? What is the meaning of life?" iunno. I think I also shared my own testimony. of how Christ saved me from the penalty of sin and how he wants to save you, too. As I was daydreaming, I felt like I was observing as a third person. you know when you dream sometimes, you're just observing and sometimes you see yourself, but you're not in your body? anyways, that's how I am in a lot of my dreams, and this time was no different. as crowds of people are walking by, looking at me strangely, I couldn't imagine that person was me. it looked like me. I still dint see myself having the courage to do such a thing..... yet. I hope one day, I'll have so much fervor and zeal for the Gospel that I'll be able to street evangelize if God calls me to. but the truth is, I have such little faith. I still care more about my own image, my own respectability than sharing the Gospel often times. there's only been glimpse in my life that I have out myself out there for the Holy Spirit to really use me. My fear, my doubt have gotten in the way many more times. like this past spring break, when I knew I'd see my grandpa for the last time. My fear got in the way of sharing the Good News of Jesus with him. and he past away a few months afterwards. Not knowing Jesus. I still have a hard time forgiving myself for that. even though I know all things happen under His sovereignty. yet, I still trust God, and pray that He will still use me, despite my failure, my lack of faith, my lack of trust in Him. the mind and body is so weak. only God can transform the desires of my heart. praying for radical transformation.

Daydream for a Passion

I watched an interview with the director of 'Cape 7' (a famous Taiwanese movie) this morning at 4am. I hadn't gone to bed yet. But as he was describing his passion for directing, how he was willing to put all of himself into it, I couldn't help but to think about what my passion is. I desire a career that I can be passionate about, just like him. Then, I think about pre-med. and whenever people asks me if I'm going into pre-med, I say im considering it. or jus maybe. as if pre-med is my "back-up." not something I'm pursuing with my whole heart. granted I'm only a freshmen and I don't have to know what I want to do with the rest of my life. But I don't like giving that half-assed answer. It bugs me. I want to be able to give a definate 'yes' or 'no.' The problem is I don't know what my passions are. but for one thing, I know I want to live passionately for Christ and glorification of God in every aspect of my life. That's not true in my life, yet. But I hope oneday I'll be closer. I'm reading this book by John Piper called Dont Waste Your Life and I'm hoping it will shed some light to how I am to live for the glory of God. I'm only on chapter 3, but I'm like liking it so far.

Anyway, I was daydreaming today about how I went on a journey around the world to find my passion. I traveled around doing odd jobs, from being a sailor, to fisherwoman, and then somehow becoming a chef training in a hactic kitchen in France. I went across Europe, but somehow (probably with the fishing boat) ended up in an impoverish area in Africa. I found myself in the middle of an attack. bombs exploding everywhere and bullets shooting at all directions. All of a sudden a surgeon ordered me to stich up a man's wound. He told me it was just like sewing clothes. and that's what I did the entire time. went around stiching people's wounds up. I remember after that, I went back to America, no Europe somewhere and applied to medical school, telling my story on the application. It would be awesome if it was real. I don't know. maybe that's the experience I'm gunna need to make me passionate about going pre-med. Or help me know that I definately don't. I think it'd be so cool if I do have an experience/encounter like that to help me know what I really want to do in life. I want to know life outside of Downers Grove, Chicago-land area, or even Taiwan. There's so much out there. I want to experience more in life. Haha. I want to take a bike trip around Taiwan on my own (my cousin did that). I want to travel from Europe all the down to South Africa, on my own. That'd be amazing. no, it'd be scary. I'm gunna plan a trip to Taiwan now. =)

Frustrating

I don't like blogging. It takes me so many friggin' hours to wrote a few lines. It's frustrating when I have things in my mind to share. but they come and go so fast sometimes that I can't describe them. and even if it's something important, I can't come up with the words fast enough! I wanna be more articulate, I wanna know more vocabulary, I wanna spell words right. I wanna give up... for now. or for a while. goodnight.

Dedicated to Hyun Seo Yang

Dec. 22, 2008

I spent 5 out of the last 7 days last week with Hyun Seo, and man… they are probably one of the most awesome, hilarious, and happiest days in my life (definitely will be one of the my highlights of my college life). It all began Monday…

I picked up Joanna from Starbucks and ate breakfast with her at ‘Maxwell’s Hashbrowns’. We shared a “Taylor Street omelet” with sweet potato hashbrowns and toast. You know, I was really happy to be able to drive Joanna around for once cuz she’s always the one driving us everywhere.

Then, I Picked up Hyun Seo from SSB at 12:38pm (ish). Omg, when she saw me, she ran toward me from half a block away and literally jumped into my arms. I was so scared that she was gunna perform “the show” when she was running!! I tried to tell her to slow down, but her excitement had already taken her onto full speed. She eventually did perform “the show.” I dropped her off at SRH for her to pick some things up., but when she was coming back to my car, she was running again, and she performed a BIIIIG “show.”

The first thing we did when we got to Downers Grove was visit my high school. We went into the school while they were still having class, and a former badminton teammate saw us and took me to see my badminton coach (while he was teaching a class!). He came out of his class room and was delighted by the visit. He a cool dude. =) Our school also had our Fall Art Display, where we walked around and saw my former art teacher.

Let’s see, what else…. We rented/watched ‘Notting Hill’ and ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith.’ I’ve seen both before, but they were only 2 for $1 at Family Video! It was probably my 8th time seeing ‘Notting Hill’ (It’s one of my favorite Chick Flicks). I really enjoyed the second movie too (again). I think Hyun Seo did, too. =/

Tuesday morning, she woke up speaking Korean to me really fast. I still hvae no idea what she said, and apparently she doesn't either. Around noon, we also went sledding!!!.... in 15 degrees F, but we bundled up (A LOT!) so it wasn’t that cold. We went up to the hill down the street in Obrien Park. We had a BLAST!! Haha. We were gunna go up to the North Suburbs to meet up with Inhae, Minhee, and Tia to hang out. But there was a snow storm! Traffic was terrible so we decided not to go (the AAIV Christmas Party was postponed, too). So, Tuesday night, my dad, my dad’s roommate’s girlfriend, Jessica, and I cut Hyun Seo’s hair!! It was really funny, when she asked me to cur her hair I first refused to. She was like “Sherry, I trust you!” but I was like “No! I don’t trust myself!” See, I’ve never cut someone’s hair before, like full out. I’ve trimmed my mom’s hair, cut my bangs a lil. But I’ve only seen my mom cut hair since she used to always cut my sister’s and my hair every time. I just got my first hair cut in a salon this past labor day weekend in Houston!

Anyway, Wednesday morning, we drove into the city and had breakfast with Joanna at ‘Sweet Maple.’ It was Excellent!! The egg scramble was delicious! I’m gunna try to make it myself at home. I even bought ricotta cheese (just like our order)!! Afterwards, I dropped Joanna off at work, then dropped Hyun Seo off at Union Station, where she was “supposed” to meet her English teacher to go to the Museum. But her teacher never showed up =( I had already driven home when she called me later.

On Saturday, I drove into the city to pick up Hyun Seo, Inhae, and Min Hee from Union Station cuz they came to watch me perform at ARRIVAL. The ride home was hilarious as ever can be. Hyun Seo showed us all the Christmas cards she drew for everyone. They were for sure the best Christmas Cards… ever! Inhae’s 12 packs, I mean... purple coat, Min Hee’s grandma outfit, Grace “cut something”, Sandy driving, P. Jimmy’s “mustard.” Oh man, good times, good times. We cooked fried rice together, and talked and laughed some more. Hyun Seo was being ridiculously hilarious. We laughed so hard my stomach and cheeks were hurting SO bad. “Oh daang” (with bounce!). ROFL!!! omg, it was also hilarious when (Inhae, you know what I'm thinkin) Hyun Seo woke wouldn't wake up, but when I whispered to her that my Dad cooked dinner, she shot right up and went to sit at the dining table without saying a word. LOL!!!

Saturday night, Jeni Chang also slept over. Min Hee, Hyun Seo, and Inhae almost froze to death because I didn't know my dad closed off the heating vents in the room cuz it used to get TOO hot. Plus, it was freezing that night outside, literally!

Let's see, what else... Running around in the freezing cold Sunday was fun, too. We drove up to Evanston for church, and dropped Min Hee off at her dad's church in Glenview. It was SOOOOO cold!! After church we went to Old Orchard to "find boots"... I ended up buying two shirts from Gap! =D A bunch of us ate at the food court. We saw Santa (again)!! haha. And, of course, Hyun Seo was being too funny. I almost died laughing at everything she was doing. That was a really awesome time.

Hyun Seo’s excitement over… everything seems like that of a little child’s discovering a new toy, her eyes widen and light up, and puts on a huge smile with her mouth open. And does a lil dance… or big dance. I’m sure those of you that know her knows what I’m talking about. But even though she does some, no, A LOT of crazy things that may seem “childish,” I still see her as an unni, an older sister. She has so much heart, she’s fearless- loves to explore and try new things (like travel around NY with a stranger and go to Florida on her own). And when she was sharing her insight with us during our “girl talk” at the sleepover, I had so much respect for her. I don’t know what it is about her that she can act seemingly childish, yet, be mature. Maybe not “childish,” but innocent, yet, insightful. Haha, iunno how to explain it.

All I can say is Hyun Seo, you're awesome. Thanks for being you. I love you and I'm gunna miss you sooooo much!!!!! I’m gunna start tearing up if I think about you leaving at the end of May, so I’m gunna try to not think about it for now. …. too late T.T

I Almost Left for Mexico Today

Leo: I'm going to Mexico tomorrow, you wanna come?
Me: ... you serious?

This happened when my dad, aunt, and cousin Leo came to help me move out for winter break on Friday afternoon. By 3pm, the traffic was already backed up. Leo had actually asked me during Thanksgiving break, but I didn't think much about it. So, when he asked me again, I was like...um...no. But the funny thing was that my aunt and my dad kept urging me to go.

Dad: It will be a good experience.
Me: But Dad, I'm gunna be spending money going to 3 retreats, which will cost at least $200, I want to go on the Spring Break Missions trip, which will cost $400, AND I'm going back to Taiwan in May, and summer school and TAF!!
Dad: Don't worry about the cost. Money isn't the issue. It's an experience of a lifetime.
Me: How can I add another $500 trip to Mexico. That's way too much!
Dad: How about this, I'll pay for $200, your aunt will help you with $100, and you pay another $200.
Me: But I don't have any income! The money I spend is STILL YOURS!
Dad: It's not about the money, Sherry. It's the experience.

Interesting... I feel like I'm more concern about our family's financial situation than my dad is a lot of times. Or perhaps he just doesn't show it.

It's the experience. It seems like that's been my parents model for raising my sister and I. All the piano lessons, violin lessons, sports camps, TAF, throwing us onto airplanes by ourselves at 6yrs old, sending us to America to live with Uncle David. It's all for us to "gain experience." and man, am I thankful for that. I wouldn't be the versatile person that I am without those experiences.

But Mexico?? So sudden? I thought I was the one who would do random, sudden things, like go to Mexico for 2 weeks the day after school ended. But my dad was all for it, too. Maybe that's where I get my randomness from.

In the end, I decided not to go. I called Leo later that night to tell him. The reasons?... money, previous engagements, and rest. If I had gone, I would have came back the day before leaving to be a small group leader at Roger's Church's retreat, then straight to CCMC's retreat. If I am to serve as a small group leader, I want to give my full attention and energy. It would be irresponsible of me to go to Mexico, and come back all tired and unable to serve.

Yes, I probably passed up an experience of a life time... a three day road trip down to Mexico, traveling with a local, Juan, who's Leo's friend, and helping them build a church, even possible missions, and flying back home.

man... I still kinda wish I had gone.

O.O

I REALLY need to start dancing again!! =P
I suck. like no joke.... maybe ill join EVO just for fun. and I hear the people are pretty cool ;)
and i'm gunna start breakdancing again this winter... thats my goal... in our new basement!!

I Am Second

http://iamsecond.com/

Hear the testimonies of how Christ has changed the lives of some of today's celeberties. Hope this will get some people to ask questions and seek answers in Jesus Christ. If anyone wants to talk about who this Jesus really is or how he can transform your life, I would be delighted to talk with you! Just message me or give me a call ANYTIME =)

I will (very soon!) share my own testimony on this blog entry about how Christ entered and transformed my life and why 'I Am Second.' but in the meantime, enjoy this site!

Living

...on 3 hours of sleep each night (more like morning). I wonder how long it will last until I totally crash. Hopefully long enough until finals are over... which means 7 more days!!! JIAH YO!

NK Peace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms4NIB6xroc

Not...
If I stop to help this person, what would happen to me?

But rather...
If I do not stop to help this person, what would happent to him?

The Morning Before Thanksgiving

Wednesday Morning, Nov. 26, 2008


12AM Jack walked me over to TBH
A bunch of people cooking turkey and watching one of my favorite movies, Moulin Rouge, and Alice and I serenaded the “Elephant Medley” to each other.

1AM Juhae is so hospitable
She was the one that invited me to come over, and I feel special and get so excited whenever she does. It's like... Really? Me?!! =) and and... I needed to shower (badly), and Juhae insisted that I use her towels… I like that.

1:45AM I joined Inhae in the lounge to “do homework”
What did we end up doing? ---Handstands, cartwheels, seeing stars, hugging poles, and dancing to Missy Elliot… Well, the dancing was just me.

3:45AM Inhae and I decided we wanted to go over to MRH
So, we go back to Juhae’s room only to find that the door was locked. Lemme tell you that at this point that I didn’t have my shoes or a jacket or my phone because all my things were inside. All I had with me was my laptop, a T-shirt, and boxer shorts on. (O.O). And it just so happens that Inhae’s numbers all got deleted, so all she remembered was Juhae’s number. We call her, but she doesn’t pick up. Sooo, me and Inhae are sitting outside the door, talking to Minhee online, and cracking up about the whole situation. Anyway, we decide to still go to MRH. Luckily, Inhae had an extra pair of pants and another T-shirt and a hat. So, we walk out of TBH, her with all her stuff, and me with a hat, T-shirts, pants, my laptop, and no shoes on (I looked like a hobo that just stole a laptop from TBH).

4AM We’re waiting for Min Hee outside MRH.
She comes down, meets us outside, and starts cracking up at me, while my feet are about to freeze. We go into Minhee’s room, and Stella was asleep this whole time. So, she has no idea what’s going on.

6:30AM WAKE UP! HURRY HURRY!
We got up SO fast and literally ran out the door, down the stairs, and jumped into Anthony’s car. We decided around 5AM online with Anthony that we wanted to go to the beach to see the sunrise. Stella was sooo confused cuz she had no idea what was going on. LOL. Oh, can I just say, Anthony is a crazy, but good driver. We were worried we wouldn’t get to the lake front in time. But with Anthony’s mad driving skills, we did. The parking fee was $10!!! Was it worth paying $10?...... No, it was worth SOOO much more.

6:55AM The Sun rises
I don’t even know how to describe that moment. But I’ll try. I felt like I was waiting for the second coming of Christ, with all the anticipation and excitement.
Also, I understood what Minhee said when she described the sun as “our baby.” LOL. It’s gunna sound weird, but as the sun was “coming out,” it was so small, like a dot, a very bright dot. But when it finally came out, the sun gave us so much joy and warmth and life, much like a newborn baby. Now, the “coming out” part of the sun was much more magnificent and much…cleaner than childbirth, but you guys know what I mean. Ok, maybe not. But in any case, the sunrise also looked like a fireball slowly coming toward us. Or a nuclear bomb as Anthony described it.

The Creator was telling me, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Even with finals coming up, be still and know that I am a good and sovereign and just God.

That morning, I felt like a kid again- finding joy in the simplest things in life. Like watching a sunrise, or even just doing a handstand or cartwheel. These are the moments I will cherish forever, especially in the midst of all the craziness of college. And I’m thankful to share these moments with my close friends, my sisters and brother.

Thank you Lord for putting all the names mentioned in my life. You are truly magnificent.

Thanksgiving (pretty much my whole first semester)

I am thankful for.... (in no particular order at all)

Emeth- for being adorable.
HMCC (Harvest Missions Community Church)- for providing a communtiy, a family that I can turn to
Joanna, Sandy, Anthony, P. Jimmy, P. Peter, and Yoonsun- for using up their gas tanks and racking up mileages to drive us everywhere
Joanna- for being the first person to call me up from HMCC and talk. and giving me that amazing head massage. and picking me up off the street to go to ACCESS.
Yoon Sun- for making my first experience at Flat Tops so wonderful. and letting us eat all her eggs and toast.
P. Jimmy and Peter- for answering my questions
Jeka Hwang- for eating with me, talking with me, praying with me, keeping strong, and sharing the Pamelo, and giving me brown sugar for my oatmeal and grits, and lending me her song book
Bethanie Lee- for her cheerfulness, graciousness, and love. Oh, and proof reading my paper at 7:30am and letting me use her printer. And for giving me that last piece of sushi!
Juhae, Rachel, Katharine, and Yoon Sun- for letting me crash at their place
Juhae Lee- for texting me to study at Monty Lounge with her, giving me free Wendy's root beer float, tucking me in, and forcing me to use her towel.
Nikki- for her passion for the Word and encouraging me to have the same passion to follow Christ EVERYDAY. and for challenging me to question my faith and seek the truth.
Dad- for the deep(er) conversations we've had since I've been in college
Skype- so I can talk to my sister, Carrie, more and encourage Min Hee to do her hwk.
Elizabeth Chung- giving me so much joy when I'm around her. and attempting to run to the beach with me. And being one of the first girl in AAIV (from the picnic) to reach out to me.
Min hee Lee- for being so caring. giving me ice water when I got hot flashes, giving me the best back massage just when I needed it, praying with me (whether at 8am or 9pm)
Jack Tsao- for being a guy.. haha jkjk.. I remember that's what jeka said, and I thought that was hilarious. but for real... for listening to me talk about random stuff and about life, for being my work-out buddy. making trips to Chinatown with me. and walking me to TBH at 12am
Christine- for being SUPER cool and being as if we've been bffs for ever even though I just met her this year.
Kevin Kuo, Matt Zhang, Sarah Reese- for calling me to eat Jake's HOT wings and hang out
Alyson Kung- for being ridiculously cute beyond belief
Sharon Hong- for treating me to Massa's, buying me a bus ticket, and the wonderful conversation we had.
Grace Yu- for praying for me at AAIV Fall Retreat.
Julie- for teaching me the "Fried Pannoli" (Korean game) at AAIV Retreat
Grace Chang- for taking me to "Cho Sun Nul" (sp???) korean bbq place that was DELICIOUS!! and encouraging me by affirming me in various ways, and sharing your experiences
CLOUDZ- for the delicious food and championship medals from Mini-O's
Tia- for being an awesome "Tank"
Stella Lee- for accidentally sacrificing herself in Dodgeball at H-Games. for playing ping pong with me and working out with me.
Marty- for being a cool roommate
Jessica Cordova- for letting me nap on her bed, drool on her pillow (jk!), forcing me eating her mochi, helping me with Chem., basically feeding-clothing-sheltering me.
Gloria Yum- for running with me, letting me nap on her bed and chillin in her room. for waking me up to do OWLs. and for having a cool last name. and giving me that last piece of sushi.

Rebecca Doshier- for helping me study for my Chem Exam
Julie Nicoles- for giving me a hug everytime we see each other
Amanda Griesbaum- for being a GREAT lab partner =)
Angela Suh- for her constant smile everytime I see her. for demonstrating Christ's love in the way she loves her friends and cares about people.
U-Pass- for taking me to where ever I need to go in Chicago
Anthony- for taking awesome pictures that capture the memories and wonderful times. And driving us to see the sunrise
Sox- for keeping my feet warm when I don't have shoes
Locks- for keeping the girls bathroom locked
Amanda Chang- for inviting me to see Jersey Boys on her birthday (which I didn’t know about)
Iris Lo- for letting me crash at her place and cooking with me and helping come up with my prompt for my English paper
Katharine- for making me toast with peanut butter
Ultimate Frisbee girls- for an awesome tournament and fun drive down to Missouri.
Hyunseo- for never failing to make me laugh and sharing with me despite the language barrier.

Inhae Lee- for reading my blog everyday. for being open and vulnerable to me. for teaching me how to be a friend. for making me laugh with your weird sense of humor and randomness. For getting me started on Blogging- I wouldn't be sharing this with anyone if it weren't for you getting me into blogging. For keeping my head and legs warm when we ran outside at 4am… *sigh*…there’s so much more, but I’ll save ‘em for next time. ;D

Promise

by Kapano Green

read from Oct. 23 entry below.

I Wanna Dance

Just finished my chem test. now I wanna dance.
I miss dancing. I hope I haven't lost it.
I'm thinking about taking dance lessons once a week with Nonstop Dance Production next semester.
What do you think?

Reach

by Kapano Green

When did it happen, how long has it been?
My heart wasn’t always cold
How long did it take to get so far away?
We used to be so close

God I remember the taste of your love
Before I walked away
But I can’t remember how to get home
So won’t you tell me?

Can you reach beyond the miles I put between us?
Can you hear me when I don’t know how to pray?
Can you take me back to where I was before I lost my faith?
Can you love me like I never turned away?

Is there forgiveness left in your heart, or have I used it all?
Am I still your child, am I too far gone?
I need to know!

Can you reach beyond the miles I put between us?
Can you hear me when I don’t know how to pray?
Can you take me back to where I was before I was before I lost my faith?
Can you love me like I never turned away?

Cuz it’s dark here where I am
And I don’t have the strength to stand and walk on my own
So, can you reach me?
Can you hear me?

Can you reach beyond the miles I put between us?
Can you hear me when I don’t know how to pray?
Can you take me back to where I was before I lost my faith?
Can you love me like I never turned away?

With a love without condition
Can you hear me crying out for you today?
Can you take me back to where I was before I lost my faith?
Can you love me like I never turned away?
Can you love me like I never turned away?

Catch Up

Here are some things that's been going on this past 2-3 weeks. I just haven't had time to post 'em up. So here it is... all at once!


1. Barack Obama was elected as President on Nov. 4, 2008

I am happy to be a part of history. Over 270,000 people were in Grant Park to celebrate. The atmosphere there must have been SO exciting. But I’ll never forget some of the tears that rolled down the eyes of some of the African Americans, both young and old. However, I can’t’ help to be cynical when people say that anything is possible now that we have a black president. There’s a lot I can say about this topic, but I’ll save it for some other time.

2. Nikki…

I’ve been meeting up with my friend Nikki about once a week to do bible study, QT, or just share with each other. She a junior and we actually met at Servants small group. She’s been a great encouragement in my life because God is so evidently working in her life even just within this first semester of school. And she really encourages me to do my QTs.

3. The Car Ride Back

Last Tuesday night, after I went home that day to vote, Dad and I have a very good conversation on the car ride back to UIC. We talked about Mom, Carrie, Taiwan, the necessity of a Church community (but I don’t think he understood what I was trying to say with this one), and faith in general. Oh ya, I tried to get him to understand that a Christian lifestyle needs community because God didn’t intend for Chrsitians to walk alone. I don’t think he’s gotten it yet, but he’s open and trying to understand. He thinks a desire to go to church will come naturally for him… eventually =/….. we’ll see. I pray so.

4. Hong Gil Dong!

It’s bad. I barely did any homework last week because I started watching Hong Gil Dong. It’s SO GOOD! Except, God rebuked me today (through the message at Harvest on Repentance) and I realized I was sinning because I devoted so much time watching it that I neglected to do my QTs and my homework. What’s awesome is that once I admitted that I was sinning against God, I don’t feel the need to keep watching Hong Gil Dong. It can wait.

5. My Second Encounter with a Drunk Person

So last Friday on Halloween, we had just came back from ACCESS at NU around 2AM. I decided to take a shower. I had a bad feeling that something was gunna happen while I was in the shower cuz our bathroom door is unlock and there were drunk people everywhere. But I got in anyway, and a guy from my floor walked in on me. I didn’t even hear him walk into the girls’ bathroom, but he was drunk. I was like, “What the fuck are you doing?!!” and he was like, “AHH! Where the fuck am I?” and he ran out. I was like, whatever, he’s just stupid and drunk. I was a lil mad. But anyway, now our girls’ bathroom is locked. Oh, and I went to that dude’s room and told him “I think you owe me an apology.” And he did. But now… it’s just awkward when I see him. =P

6. Lastly... I decided on Harvest (HMCC)!!

I actually decided last week, but this weekend just confirmed it. I'll put up another post on this cuz there's lots to say.

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Yes... I'm so happy today that I'm singing Mr. Rogers' theme song. It’s Gorgeous out today! It’s November and I’m wearing a T-shirt! And my roommate just ran out the door to beat up some guys. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood indeed. =)

A Conversation With a Drunk Friend

“Are you judging me?”

This was the start of the very interesting conversation I had with my drunk friend on his 21st birthday about faith and Christianity. I did not understand why my friend thought I was judging him. Does the simple fact of me being there and not drinking make him feel judged? I have my opinion on drinking: drinking under age is against the law and, therefore, sinning against God. Am I automatically judging other people by having that opinion? Him asking me that made me uneasy because I didn’t think I was judging him, but somehow he felt like he was being judged by me. Did I unconsciously give him a certain “judemental” look? Did I do that to all my friends who were drinking under age?! Gahh! Iunno. I hope not.

But pretty much we began to talk about God, salvation through grace vs. salvation through works. It’s too much to share right now. But I was really glad to hear about where he’s at in terms of his faith. He says he’s still a believer, in that he believes that God has forgiven his sins through Jesus Christ, but he still feels that he needs to work to make up for it. Or at least that’s what I understood. But anyway, I got to share about how it’s by grace alone that we can be saved. Not by what we do or don’t do. And for some reason he couldn’t accept that. He thinks he’s fallen too deep. He kept repeating that night, “I’m a terrible person, I’m a terrible person, I’m a terrible person.”

There’s too much to share about, but I guess a prayer request for me would be to just care about him enough to keep reaching out to him, even if its gunna be hard. It might be putting our friendship on the line if I keep persisting to talk about God with him, maybe not, I might be overdramatizing this. But I know he’s hurting and desires something more than what this world has to offer. I realized last weekend that there are SO many people like him. We see them in our dorms, in our classes. People who are searching, wanting more, unsatisfied. That’s what I was like before becoming a Christian.

God gave me that opportunity to share the Gospel last weekend to my friend. But it shouldn’t just end with that one conversation. I hope there will be more of those conversations to come, and pray that I will initiate them. I think God brought me to him last weekend for a purpose. Maybe God wants to use me in the process of bringing my friend to Him. It’s exciting, yet, I’m a lil scared. I’ve failed before, when God wanted to use me but I got scared and backed down. So, what’s the difference this time around? I know that it’s not about me, it’s about God. (I hope that made sense). God has given me another opportunity to be used by Him despite my failure! Praise God! He is gracious indeed.

So Forgetful

Sigh... God just told me this like last week... why do I forget so easily?

I've been investing a lot of time on friendships/relationships. It's time to refocus on God and my relationship with Him! READ HIS WORD!!! I feel emtpy without it, yet, I still don't read it daily.

I feel stupid. I need help. I need God... EVERYDAY!

Promise

This song encouraged tremendously me during my hardest times in high school. I hope this song will bring encouragement to yall too.


Promise- by Kapano Green

My child listen carefully, listen to this song that I sing
Let it sink deep into your soul.

I see the way that you've been hurting, tired from the weight of your burden
I want to come and bear your load.

But I see you holding onto tear, all the questions all of the fears
All the things that keep you from believing.

But what more can I do? What must I say to prove that I love you
And I am never leaving?

Well I've told you this, but I don't think you heard me
So please hear me now

When you need me, I'll come to you
When you are weary, I'll hold you up
There's no need for you to worry
Cuz I can never break a promise, no

Stronger than the wind that blows you
Deeper than the night that unfolds you
Greater than the power of temptation

I will cause the sun to break through
Never will i leave or forsake you
I commit myself to your salvation

And you'll never grow too big for me to carry
This is Father's love

When you need me I'll come to you
When you are weary I'll hold you up
There's no need for you to worry
Cuz I can never break a promies, no
No, I can never break a promise

And when the fire rises, you will be protected
And if the sky should fall, there is shelter beneath my wings
I have written your name on my heart
You are mine

When you need me ill come to you
When you are weary ill hold you up
Theres no need for you to worry
Cuz I can never break a promise.

Today's a bad day

...cuz I don't feel like dancing. =(

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other..."

The Prayer of Faith

James 5:13-16

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray.
Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint
him with oil in the name of the Lord.
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.
If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.


It's hard for me to confess my sins to people... not because I'm prideful, but because I don't want people to know how disgusting and deep my sins are. Or perhaps it's just that one sin. I've asked God to take that sin away countless of times, but maybe He doesn't to remind me that I'm a sinner as soon I start to think I'm not; that I'm all good.

Love is Confrontational

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:5-6

"As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

I need to confront a friend. pray that I will do it gently and with full of Christ's love.

Job's Song

I found this randomly in my files...I like.


Job's Song

G D
Been broken, put through the fire,
Em C D G
Felt the heat melt all my strength away.
G D
Felt so lonely, felt so abandoned
Em C D G
"Where is God?" I heard my little voice say.

G D
I need You, I need You,
Em C D G
Oh Lord please hold me next to You.
G D
I need You, I need You,
Em C D G
Oh Lord, don't let me fall from You.

Lord I know this world isn't easy,
And I know that You never promised no pain.
Trials will come and trials will test me,
But help me Lord, it's hard to see them as gain.

I forgot that You're right here beside me,
Let me know that You're with me through the length.
Though I'm weak, Lord, this is my prayer,
Through my weakness, Lord please be my strength.

Dear Child

I wrote this poem during my freshmen year of high school for my Geometry class. The assignment was to write a poem with certain geometry terms (underlined). It didn't have to rhyme and it could be on any topic we wanted. I guess this was what I came up with...

Dear Child,

I am in your presence

Even when you feel I'm at a far distance

I see the tears that flow down your face

When you feel lonely in a captive space

I offer you a love that lasts

A Love that's the same, future, present, and past

A Love that's like an endless line

A Love that is so divine

A Love that later leads to death

Me, hanging on the perpendicular cross, waiting for my last breath

But surely I do not fret

For I know I'll soon be with the Father and rest

I will rise on the third day and the nations will be blessed

Do you see the proof I've given, to prove that I Love you?

So, what is the reason that you can't say, "Lord, I love you, too?"

n00b

I never blogged before. Mainly because I don't want people to know my thoughts, my struggles, or how "uncool" I am in reality. I guess what I fear most about blogging is that people will judge me.

It's REALLY hard for me to share with people (my sister Carrie can tesitfy to that).

I'm not a writer, neither am I the deepest thinker. My thoughts are so random and my sentences don't fit. Who would wanna read my thoughts? oh well... hopefully somebody.

I admire those who blog. Who have the courage to put themselves out there for others to see, to read.

I guess I'm starting to blog now because I finally found some close friends that I feel I'm not being fair to by not sharing about my own struggles/thoughts with them. (I don't even know if that made any sense). But I also hope in the midst of sharing my struggles, I can share some of my victories, how God is working in my life, and hopefully bring encouragement to anyone who might read it.

My hope: that my daily life is a reflection of God's glory. Whether it be a bad day or good day... that people will see Him at work in me, through me, and around me.

Warning: I don't know how long I will keep up with this Blogging thing and I probably won't be consistent with this (cuz I'm lazy and don't like to sit in front my computer and type), but I'll try my best.