God revealed the Pharisee in me (again) these past few week… I recently attended a business training conference in New Jersey where I met and listened to the stories of many successful people in the financial industry. To my surprise, many of these millionaires were much more humble, disciplined, passionate, and lived with so much more conviction than most Christians I know including myself. Two thoughts came to mind:
a. What is the difference between Christians and non-Christians? These non-Christians seem to be producing very good fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control). Their marriages are strong and they live with a mission to serve others. As I was wrestling with this question and even comparing my own life with theirs, God reminded me of a passage we discussed during Sunday school, the riddle in Psalm 49. “But man, despite his riches, does not endure; he is like the beasts that perish. This is the fate of those who trust in themselves, and of their followers, who approve their sayings. Like sheep they are destined for the grave, and death will feed on them… But God will redeem my life from the grave. Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases; for he will take nothing with him when he dies, his splendor will descend with him… A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish.” Wow… This pretty much goes to say those Christians trust in God and non-Christians trust in themselves (or was that more from Psalm 73?) The only difference if that Christ redeems the lives of those who place their trust in him instead of what they build up on this earth. Then I thought…
b. These people are so worldly, living and chasing after success in this world even though it will not last. They appear satisfied, content, claiming to experience “true” freedom and joy in life…. I shouldn’t follow them, they chase after things of this world while I have kingdom work that can last for all eternity. I better not get into business with these guys…. While these statements may be true, my real thought was, “I don’t want to be associated with these sinners.” That night God pointed me to the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14). The Pharisee prayed about himself saying “God, I thank you that I am not like other men- robbers, evildoers, adulterers- or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.” The tax collector simply says, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” He didn’t compare himself with anyone else like the Pharisee did. He simply saw himself as a sinner before God and nothing else mattered. Because of that, God exalts him. Too often I miss out on God because I’m too busy comparing myself with others, whether in dance abilities, serving in the church, the way I dress, etc. I lose out on giving thanks to God and worshiping Him. I’m thankful for the weekly reminders from FAP to pray with thanksgiving and with the understanding that we desperately need his mercy every day.
c. There is a third thought that I am quite ashamed to share about. But I will share because I know God wants to uproot this sin and redeem this area of my life. 70% of the associates at the business convention were middle-aged Chinese immigrants. In the middle of the conference, I felt super uncomfortable and thought “I can’t believe I have to learn and get advice in this business from a bunch of Chinese people.” In that thought, God revealed a deep prejudice I had against the Chinese. Growing up, I often heard comments like “products made in China are bad” or “Chinese tourists are polluting our beautiful island” or “Chinese people are so loud and rude.” Sly comments like these, repeated over the years, implanted the thought that Taiwanese is better than Chinese. Straight up telling the truth here. It was much easier to hide this prejudice while growing up in a Chinese immigrant church because we were called to love our brothers and sisters in Christ. However, outside the church is really where that love gets tested. I failed, but God is addressing this issue by bringing more Chinese friends into my life. For that I am thankful.
As God continues to expose my pride, I'm learning to look to Christ, as the ultimate demonstration of humility, "who being in very nature God did not consider himself equality with God something to be grasped. But made himself nothing, taking on the very nature of a serving, being made in human likeness. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a Cross!" (Philippians 2) Thank you for your great example, Lord.
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